The war between good and evil has raged for millennia, but now evil is
winning, and The Marked Souls are caught in the middle…
After an accident left her near death, Sera Littlejohn is struggling to
piece her life together again. But when a violet-eyed stranger reveals a supernatural battle veiled in the shadows, Sera is tempted to the edge of madness by a dangerous desire.
Ferris Archer takes Sera under his wing now that she is talyan, possessed by a repentant demon with hellish powers. Archer and his league of warriors have long risked their demon-shattered souls to stop darker spirits from wreaking havoc. But they’ve never fought beside a female talya before, and never in all his centuries has Archer found a woman who captivates him like Sera.
With the balance shifting between good and evil, passion and possession, Sera and Archer must defy the darkness‹and dare to embrace a love that will mark them forever…
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Dreams, destiny and self-delusion
I had originally written a post for my appearance here at Novel Thoughts about my never-ending adoration of dark heroes, but after my experiences last week, I’ve been musing on the fine line between dreams and madness.
See, I just returned home from a week-long stock book signing tour in Chicago for my debut urban fantasy romance, SEDUCED BY SHADOWS. (If you live within 25 miles of Chicago, every copy of the book I could find contains a bookmark and a custom temporary tattoo based on an inside joke in the story.) I had the chance to meet a bunch of booksellers, the members of a book club, and random readers too, which was fabulous fun. I talked to some of them about how long I’d been writing, how I’ve always known I wanted to be an author, and how getting to sign my book—finally!—must be a dream come true.
And when I put all those answers together, I realized how FREAKIN’ PSYCHOTIC I must sound!
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over with the expectation of different results. Well, sadly, that is also the definition of achieving your dreams.
Many people—dare we say most?—won’t achieve their dreams on the first attempt. I’ve been writing since I was a wee young thing and seriously pursuing publication for more than a decade. I racked up almost a hundred “no”s before I finally got to a “yes.” But my dream still isn’t over.
Because my dream isn’t just to write, but to be read. Last week, I drove around to all the Chicago bookstores, tucking that dream in between the pages of my books and abandoning them on the shelves in the hopes that some unknown reader will stumble upon one, take it home, and love the story as much as I did.
Sometimes I think I’m as crazy as my characters.
SEDUCED BY SHADOWS is the first book of The Marked Souls. In the series, the heroes are possessed by repentant demons, seeking their redemption by fighting against the forces of darkness. I imagined that the talyan—the alpha males warriors—were fated to be possessed because of their “penance trigger.” The penance trigger was a moment in their past that echoed through the years, a psychic wound from which they never quite recovered, that made them vulnerable to the demons.
The newly possessed heroine of SEDUCED BY SHADOWS, Sera, gets the explanation from the hero, Ferris Archer:
______________________________
“When I had the vision of the demon, it said I’d called it.” She fixed her gaze on her hands wrapped around the coffee cup. “It said I was lonely. It said it loved me. How desperate is that?”
Love. The word exploded in an empty place in him, as if that powder had burned to the end of the line. He clamped down until the echo died. “Desperate on the demon’s part? Or yours?” When she glared at him, he shrugged. “It makes a bargain to fill what’s missing in us and then takes what it needs.”
“But why me?” She wilted a bit. “Seems a little conceited to think I’ve had any more tribulations than the next guy.”
“Haven’t you?” He waited while she considered. “But it’s not about the quantity of your suffering. It’s the quality. Demons are quite the connoisseurs of pain.”
She grimaced. “Me too lately, I guess.”
“Exactly. When the demon crosses over, it seeks a matching target, a soul that resonates with its energy. Somewhere in your past is a penance trigger. It defines the headwaters of an invisible fault line in your soul, cutting a path right to the moment when the demon breaks your life in two.”
“A penance trigger?” Some memory brought a hazy glitter to the corner of her eye. “So it was because of me.”
The tear never fell, but his muscles tightened as if reacting to a mortal threat. He held himself still with effort. He wouldn’t reach for her again. “Whatever it was doesn’t necessarily make you guilty, Sera. It just made you vulnerable.”
Despite his soft tone, her instant focus pinned him. Her narrowed eyes left no room for tears. “I still can’t believe any of this. I should have my head examined.”
“You mean your soul.”
______________________________
After last week, I’ve come to think maybe all of us have some version of a penance trigger, a moment—often insignificant at the time—that puts a hairline crack in the rest of our days until it finally blows wide open.
For me, it was the PTA Reflections grade school writing contest. I won the contest and got a gift certificate for a free book. Well, obviously, there was no going back, not after getting a free book. I was forever more doomed to be a writer.
Like my heroes, destined to fight evil for eternity, I was destined to put words on paper. So calling my book on the shelf (and that sure seemed to take an eternity) a dream come true isn’t quite right. Because the dream continues. And as mad as it sounds, I hope I won’t ever wake up.
Jessa Slade’s first book, SEDUCED BY SHADOWS, is available now at most bookstores and online. Chapter 1 is available at her website http://jessaslade.com. Book 2 of The Marked Souls, FORGED OF SHADOWS, will be out June 2010. Read a free short story introducing the world of The Marked Souls at http://www.tinyurl.com/MarkedSoulsPrequel.
Do you have a penance trigger in your life, a moment—good or bad—that threads through your days? How has that influenced your waking dreams?
Leave a comment and you’ll be entered to win a signed copy of SEDUCED BY SHADOWS along with the temporary tattoo and a pair of Possession In Pearl earrings, freshwater pearl sticks that look like they might have something dreaming inside them.
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Many thanks to Jessa for being our guest today. For more info on what she has coming up, visit her website here.
My penance moment would be the death of my oldest daughter when she was 5. She had been seriously ill since birth and we tried so many things to help her, but finally made the tough DNR decision when she began to fail again. So many nights I used to play the what if game and wonder, but I know in my heart that it was the right thing to do. Her little body had failed her, she was worn out and suffering. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and after 7 years I find more joyful than sad moments to remember. Watching her courage has changed me and my reactions to life’s curveballs forever.
Hugs, Lisa. Of course that moment echoes forever through your life. But how wonderful that you found notes of joy by knowing and loving your daughter, for however long she was with you.
I suspect all the romance heroes and heroines of our novels would be hard-pressed to live up to your strength.
I think mine would be when my dad died. He died on Christmas morning in a house fire. My mom and he were separated because he had a drinking problem. He passed out while smoking and burned our house down. I was eight years old at the time. I am 57 now and I still have to work my way through Christmas. It’s not that I sit around all maudlin at Christmas, but it’s always with me. My life changed so much after that and I’m sure my need to feel independent stems from that time. My mother had to go to work to support us, so we took care of ourselves. My brothers were 10 and 14. So I learned at an early age to be self-reliant.
More hugs to you, Linda. An experience like that — especially tied to such a public date on the calendar — must have been overwhelming as a child. That you recognize the changes it had on you — and found the positives — speaks volumes about your resiliency.
My penance moment would have to be the time my home burned down when I was 8 years old. My family and I lost nearly everything. My gandmother almost died from the shock and had to be rushed to the hospital. It was the day before her birthday and we were making cards and presents for her when I discovered the fire. As a result of this, It made me realize that posessions come and go, that I must appreciate the people i have in my life because they might also be gone tomorrow. The things can be replaced but the people in my life are irreplacaeable and therefore all the more precious because of it.
Cherie, what a hard way to learn the lesson that relationships matter more than possessions. That’s a lesson I imagine is easily forgotten by most, but not for you. Thank heavens your family made it out.
My penance moment would be when my mother was injured when I was eight year old. She was left crippled for the rest of her life, she passed away at the age of 58. This changed my life. Its like our happy home fell apart and nothing was the same after. All of us children had to jump in and do the housework and cooking at a very young age. I think if made stronger people of us.
Eight is such an impressionable age too, Quilt Lady. You’d just barely begun the climb out of childhood and then to be thrust into responsbilities that many adults have difficulty shouldering…
Honestly, I think you ladies could teach our heroines a thing or two about overcoming the overwhelming. How inspiring!
My moment was when I came home from work right before Christmas vacation started and found that my grandmother had collapsed and was taken to the hospital… My grandfather who was bedridden was very quiet… she had a stroke due to an illness, was in a coma for a while and then after she woke up, could not remember people and names, had to relearn everything such as speaking, eating, etc… my grandfather had to be taken to a hospital to get the care he needed… She never called me by name after that, and I never knew if she really knew who I was anymore… people are precious and you never know when something can happen…
> you never know when something can happen…
So true. In the day-to-day details, it’s hard to remember that. Maybe that’s one of the purposes of the thread of those difficult moments in our lives — a reminder, if we choose to pay attention.
Sounds like a great book. I’m still dealing with whatever it was I had so I’m doing this quick.
hugs,
WendyK
WendyK, I think we all deal with it — whatever IT is — forever, at least on some level. I think one of the reason I like writing is the chance to explore all those issues and finally resolve them — happily!
Yeah, I’m a romance pollyanna and proud of it 🙂
My penance moment was when my grandfather was admitted into the hospital this summer. I was afraid his health would deteriorate more but thankfully he recovered and is doing well. I now try to spend more time with him and cherish days with friends and family much more.
Jeanette, you are so lucky to have that chance — and recognize it.
In a novel, we usually have to beat the characters about the head and shoulders for 400 pages before they figure it out 🙂
Hi Jessa 😀
just wanted to stop by and say hello – I’m currently reading Seduced by Shadows (no need to enter me in the drawing – thanks) and it’s an interesting world you created… I can’t wait to read more!
Greetings,
Ina
Hi, Ina! I’m so happy you want to read more 🙂 I’m finding the the storyworld is drawing me deeper and deeper too, as the writer, which is weird because you’d think I’d know where I was going. But nope, I’m working on Book 3 now and I’m uncovering layers I wasn’t expecting at all. This is the characters’ revenge, I think.
I love the premise of this book.
I suppose my moment would be when my mom passed away. I was 13. It was a very difficult time as my dad was out east working (we were moving there in a months time) while mom and I stayed home for me to finish school and to finish packing.
She had a heart attack one morning, and I had to do CPR, while I waited for the ambulance arrive. She unfortunately passed away a week later.
My life was changed forever.
Oh Natasha. Very difficult is right. A friend of mine who has had plenty of tragedy in her life says losing a mother is the hardest of all.
When it comes to stories, many writers have noted that mother figures are frequently missing. That’s because we often want to isolate our heroines from a support system… and there’s no support system like a mom.
My moment was at the age of 4 when a farming accident left me a quadraplegic. From that moment on I was no longer a child, I became an adult in the blink of an eye. Not only was it hard for me, but for my family as well. I have guilt that time was taken away from my siblings and that they had to take on more chores and have less time to play because of my parents helping me. I have guilt that my family was thrown into a huge financial crisis that they’re still (over 30 years later) trying to recover from. Even though they’ve never made me feel anything but loved, I have spent every moment I can helping them and returning all the support they’ve given me over the years.
Through everything though we are a stronger family. We stand strong with one another and don’t take one moment for granted.
Joder, I went to school in Iowa and knew lots of kids whose families had experienced major injuries through farming. Thanks to the TV reality show, we know how dangerous deep-sea fishing is, but corn and soybeans and pigs seem relatively innocuous. Not necessarily so.
You bring up an important point about how those pivotal moments radiate not just outward but inward. How beautiful that love was the answer.
Lots of strong women commenting. Grace to you all.
My pennance moment occurred after my closest friend betrayed me. It was such a shocking, immobilizing situation that my mind couldn’t even grasp the impact of it back then. I had confronted that friend in a somewhat dramatic fashion (no fists, though, lol) one night and I walked away emotionally shell shocked but what stunned me was that within seconds of turning my back, a clear voice/thought spoke to me, that I will be ok, I will survive this and be better than my then self.
It’s been 10 years and all the details, anger, pain are all fuzzy and distant but that internal “voice” that guided me remains are sharp as ever.
Jennifer, that inner guidance at a difficult moment must have been a wonderful feeling.
When I was writing SBS, I thought about having my heroes able to communicate with their demons. I decided not to because most of the time I feel like I don’t have good communication with the angel and devil on my shoulders, so I wasn’t going to give that resource to my characters.
Hi Jessica! My pennance was when I discovered my son was Autistic. It has been a long hard road, but we all take it a day at a time. He is in Highschool now and he is one of my biggest inspirations, and my hero.
It’s interesting that many of you have talked about how you’ve come to value each moment for itself when we so often live in the past or the future. I think I need to make note of that in Book 3 (scribbling to self).
I don’t know if I have a penance moment, but a cousin recently passed away at a very young age. It makes me stop and think about what I’ve accomplished versus what I dreamed about having done by the time I was this age. It’s a time to stop and think about what you take for granted in life.
Lisa, I’m sorry for your loss. I was home last week and visited my grandfather whose memory is failing. But knowing all he’s done in his life — travels, great hobbies, loving family — somehow makes it not so bad.
My heart goes out to all of today’s commenters. I’ve had problems, sure, but not a penance trigger like so many of you. I believe that connects to my faith, which practices forgiveness. I am so awed by the strength showed by so many in this blog. Take care.
> awed by the strength
GSM, I so, so agree with you.
A penance trigger? Strangely, mine was an abrupt awareness of the burden of responsibility lifted from me though it was expected to be a short time.
There was a series of tragedies and losses from my junior year in college through my senior year. Those sorrows added to my distress that I couldn’t imagine achieving all of the things I wanted in life. Suddenly, there was a moment when I was not needed by friends and family to be the go-to person for help. It was then I decided to flit to a foreign land and delay my search for work. I pushed serious job search, pursuit of a partner and family of my own, and vacations to say the Grand Canyon into the distance. Well, my flitting and fluttering lasted for years. Strangely enough, work partner and family all came about from allowing myself to be unafraid to travel the unfamiliar path. The first step off the paved areas of life was the hardest. Now I find myself straying off that road often and without much angst … I am still waiting for the vacation to the Grand Canyon. And that is fine.
> The first step off the paved areas of life was the hardest
Huzzah, Lamb! Sounds like you’ve made your whole life a Grand Canyon adventure. Way to carpe the diem 🙂
I would say my 1st penance moment came when i found my mother unconscious when I was 17. She passed away that morning with no warning to me at least. I was less than three months from graduating high school. I later found out she had been told that the valve she had replaced in her heart at 12 needed to be replaced. She had refused to even discuss that option because she had spent a year in almost in the hospital by herself almost 2 hours by car from her family I refuse to let my family members ignore doctors warnings now. they can get a second opinion but they can’t ignore it My second pivotal moment came when my dad was diagnosed wih cancer. He passed away when I was 32. I have officially been an orphan for almost 9 years and let me tell you folks that sucks.
Pamk, I hadn’t thought about how sharing the lesson with others can maybe help alleviate the sting. I think all these stories show how we aren’t alone.
Thanks for the post. I have to think about this before I can answer. Really a thought provoking post.
However, I can say right now that Seduced by Shadows sounds like a great start to a new series.
Donna S, I don’t have anything to compare to the difficulties faced in the stories above. I’ve been lucky, I think.
Sometimes I get so lost in creating words, it’s amazing to me how often the grandest — and simplest — stories come from real life. These are wonderful reminders.
Lisaa dn all, first, I’m also sorry for your loses.
Like Lisa, it is when I first found out my daughyter needed surgery shen she was 5, then to hace the disease return at 16 and then take her at 23, only 4 yrs ago. I mostly dream about the last time though as she is in the hospital the last time. As Lisa said, I also think of her all the time, but the sadness has not went away yet, it’s always there, I just dont’ wear it on my sleaves for all to see.
Congrats on your book and very pretty earrings there.