(Well, you know I’d have to make some sort of comment on the issue, especially since the name of my upcoming release is Addicted to You).
Yes, most of us in the romance community have recently been informed–in a manner that reminded me a little bit of being lectured to by a starchy spinster in To Kill a Mockingbird — that romance novels can be addictive. For women, they can cause as much dysfunction in relationships as pornography can for men.
Now, I’m not going to rant and rave over this issue. The people who wrote that article obviously believed what they were saying, and were basing it on some kind of evidence—I wasn’t entirely sure if it was research or casual observation-type evidence, but that’s a topic for a different blog.
Since entering the romance community, I’ve met some of the brightest, savviest, healthiest women I’ve ever met in my life. Have I met some fringe sorts? Yes. I defy anybody to tell me about any field where they don’t exist, however. There are people in EVERY category on the face of the earth, be it mountain climbers, butterfly collectors, accountants or fly fisherman, who don’t have their unhealthy folks as members.
Does that mean that fly fishing or number-crunching causes addiction or relationship dysfunction?
No. Of course not. The fact of the matter is, any behavior taken to excess can cause problems, both individually and in relationships. If you drink too much water, you’ll get water intoxication, and start to act like a schizophrenic. Work—often acclaimed as a moral, character-building activity—can and does become an addiction, if taken to an extreme. There are some people who seek out therapy because they are addicted from everything to shopping to video games to alcohol to caffeine.
Changes in brain activity are mentioned in the article. But come on. Changes in brain activity occur from many things, including exercise, sun-bathing and love-making. A human being can become addicted to any or many of these activities. The answer isn’t to ban exercise or sex or the sun.
In my opinion, the issue is—are you avoiding spending time with loved ones and engaging in other healthy, social relationships, etc. because you are reading romance novels? Do you expect your significant other and other male figures to ‘be’ like the hero of a romance novel, and do problems with relationships ensue?
For most people, I am going to make the wild assumption that the answer is ‘no.’ Romance novels are a fantasy and an escape. The same can be said of many things, from talking to a friend on the phone, getting lost in a movie or going on vacation.
Romance novels aren’t the problem, any more than television is. Taking things to extremes and avoiding relationships as well as basic life duties is.
I will not claim that someone has never become addicted to romance novels. I suppose there are some people who are, and they should feel comfortable about seeking help. However, I’m having trouble believing it’s a norm.
That’s just my two cents on the issue.
Now…a little about my upcoming Berkley Heat romance called Addicted to You! http://www.bethkery.com/bethany-kane/books/addicted-to-you/ Yes, a person can be addicted to many things, including another person or sex. That’s not my hero, Rill’s, problem, however; it’s just that he worries he worries it is. Rill had a mother who was quite promiscuous and needy about sex and men. As a result—like many children of addictive parents—he’s cautious about fully exhibiting his dominant, passionate sexual nature. Katie, the feisty heroine of ATY, has to show Rill he can engage fully in his passionate nature without becoming addicted, like his mother did.
Here’s a blurb and short excerpt! Oh…and don’t be afraid to pick up Addicted to You when you see it on the shelf? After all, you and your family know best when it’s ‘you’ time versus family/social/work better than I do…or any article does. 🙂
I say…enjoy. Lord knows women in this day and age need every chance for relaxation and ‘me’ time they can get.
Addicted To You by Bethany Kane
“A fabulous, sizzling hot friends-to-lovers story. You’ll be addicted from page one!”
Julie James, National Best Selling author of Something About You!
All it takes is a moment for your life to change—one night of desire to make you feel alive…
Irish film director Rill Pierce fled to the tiny, backwoods town of Vulture ‘s Canyon, seeking sanctuary and solitude after a devastating tragedy. Once, his raw sex appeal and sultry Irish accent made women across the globe swoon. Now, he’s barely recognizable…
But Katie Hughes, his best friend’s sister, is not the type of woman to give up on a man like Rill. She blazes into Vulture’s Canyon determined to save him from himself. Instead, she finds herself unleashing years of pent-up passion. In a storm of hunger and need, Katie and Rill forget themselves and the world. But will Rill’s insatiable attraction to Katie heal his pain—or will it just feed the darkness within him?
Excerpt
She leaned back when he placed his hand at the side of her head. When she looked up at him, Katie abruptly became aware of how blue his eyes were, how thick his lashes were . . . how her belly pressed against the fullness between his thighs. Everett, Eden, Rill and Katie had been friends for years now. She’d hugged Rill countless times. She’d never had cause to feel ashamed hugging him before.
She stepped back now.
“It could have happened to anyone. Vulture’s Canyon becomes a dead man’s land at night. And Errol acts on impulse. He should have known better than to run in front of a moving car.”
Katie sighed. “Well, it’s done. I’ll have to pay for his hospital stay and his rehab. He doesn’t have any insurance. He doesn’t have a car, either. I’ll have to drive him to all his appointments,” she added, not realizing the truth of her words until that moment.
“I’ll be driving him.”
Katie glanced up in surprise at Rill’s resolute tone. “Don’t be ridiculous. You didn’t hit him.”
“That may be, but Errol will likely require rehab for weeks on end. There’s no way you’re staying in Vulture’s Canyon that whole time.”
Katie straightened to her full height. “Who says?”
“I do.” He seemed to reconsider his bluntness. “I can imagine Morgan and Watkins might have a say in the matter as well.”
“I’ve taken a vacation from Morgan and Watkins,” Katie said, referring to her former employer, a large law firm that did taxes for the rich and famous.
“You took a vacation and came to Vulture’s Canyon?” Rill asked incredulously.
“I told you I did.”
“That’s just stupid.”
Anger rose from her belly to her brain like mercury in a there mometer stuck in boiling water. “Don’t you call me stupid. I’d say what you’re doing these days is way off the idiocy scale, so I guess you can put up with me for what’s left of your miserable life.”
Katie paused when she saw how the color left his face, but she didn’t relent. Suddenly, the idea of this beautiful, talented man wasting his life felt like a personal affront, like a slap to the face. It surprised her a little to realize she shook with emotion. Or perhaps it was some culmination of the bizarre events of the past fifteen hours and a sleep-deprived brain that was finally getting to her.
“You’re not going to chase me off like you did Everett, Rill,” she said in a quiet, vibrating voice.
His lips flattened in irritation. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that, Katie. You haven’t seen how I live.”
She swallowed convulsively. There it was: proof positive that he definitely had been too drunk to recall her being at his house last night, let alone remember what they’d done. A feeling of mixed relief and sadness swooped through her.
She stepped toward him and tilted her chin up, meeting his glare. “You call what you’ve been doing the past eighteen months living? We both know you’re flirting with the opposite, Rill. It’s gonna stop here and now, too.”
“Oh, yeah?” he asked belligerently. “How do you know that?”
“Because Eden would be ashamed of you. I figure you just need someone to remind you of that.”
His eyes flashed in fury at the mention of Eden’s name; his jaw clamped tight. Katie recoiled slightly in her own skin, the evidence of his hurt paining her, as well. She stepped back.
“You can come up to my place and get rested up for your drive back to California. You’re not welcome here, though. I want you gone as soon as you’re rested,” he said stiffly.
She stalked past him toward the nurses’ station, wondering why having Rill say out loud what she already knew with perfect clarity could hurt so damn much.
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~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Thank you Beth for visiting with us today!
To find out more about Bethany, please visit www.bethkery.com/bethany-kane/. Leave a comment below for a chance to win either a backlist Beth Kery book, or a Bethany Kane book, including Addicted to You. Good luck! 😀
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