Guest Post: Does Size Matter? by Andrea Laurence

Five years ago, high school sweethearts Ivy and Blake’s relationship imploded and both their lives were changed forever. Ivy became a rock star and Blake lost not only his dreams of a successful NFL career, but his reputation. Ivy’s angry song about their breakup, called “Size Matters”; hit the top of the charts and Blake became a national laughingstock. He’s salvaged his career and returned to Rosewood to be the high school football coach, regaining his status as town hero and leading the boys to the state championships.

 

When a tornado whips through town and destroys the high school gymnasium and stadium, a committee is formed to help rebuild and plan some charity fundraisers. Blake’s grandmother requests that Ivy return to Rosewood for the events. Forced back together for the good of their hometown and their careers, Ivy and Blake have no choice but to put aside their differences, stop running from their pasts, and finally face the music.

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Does Size Matter?

Did that title get your attention? I’m betting so. In my new southern contemporary, Facing the Music, the heroine is a rock star that has made her career writing songs about her exes that aren’t so flattering. Ivy’s first song, her breakout hit, was called “Size Matters”. It was written about her high-school sweetheart after she finds he’s made out with a cheerleader while they were apart. The song becomes an anthem for underwhelmed women everywhere and her ex, Blake, becomes a national laughingstock.

 

Now, in full disclosure, the song isn’t really about Blake’s junk. It’s about the size of his heart and how he was holding back in their relationship, but you’d only get that if you really listened to the lyrics. If you just sang along with the chorus, it’s all about a woman who admits she’s lied when she told her lover that size didn’t matter. Here’s a few lines from the song:

 

Size matters…

I said it didn’t, I didn’t mean it

I told you everything was fine

But size does matter

 

Blake and Ivy have a big hurdle to get over when she returns to her home town and they’re forced to work together for the common good. Both of them have some apologizing to do, some growing up to do and some lost time to make up for.

 

But it does raise an interesting and controversial question.

 

Does size matter?

 

As with all romance heroes, Blake is not lacking in the physical attributes department, which Ivy finally admits. If romance novels are supposed to be driven by women’s fantasies, it would seem that size does matter. And yet, is there too much of a good thing? Is it more about what you can do with it? Let’s have a discussion. Be honest and tell me what you think and maybe we can answer this question once and for all…

 

— Andrea Laurence

 

Excerpt from Facing the Music

 

“I wish I could silence every iPod in America,” Blake retorted. “I would consider it a public service—protecting the general population from bitter, autotuned, subpar pop music.”

 

“First,” Ivy said, taking a few steps toward him. Her spine was ramrod straight and defiant, pressing her breasts against her silky top and giving him unhelpful flashbacks to today’s earlier encounter. “My music is not autotuned. I am not a belly-baring teenage pop princess. I play my own instruments. I perform live. I write my own music. And if that music is bitter, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.”

 

“Blame?” Blake laughed. “I think I should get a cut of those four million sales. Before I broke your heart, your songs were nothing but the sad refrains of coffeehouse open mic nights.”

 

Ivy’s mouth fell open, her response stolen from her lips. It was a low blow and he knew it. Ivy had struggled with her music for months. He knew how hard she’d worked and how her professors just hadn’t seen the emotion and spark that made her songs special.

 

Grant sidled up. “That’s probably not the best idea,” he noted. “Never piss off a woman with a dart in her hand unless you fancy an eye patch.”

 

Blake smiled and shook off his brother’s suggestion. “I’m not too worried about that. I remember watching her out on the field during gym in high school. Her aim was never that great.”

 

“It may not be,” Ivy said, recovering herself. “But at least if I stuck something in you, you’d notice.”

 

A roar of voices and laughter followed her insult. Blake sighed. Why did she always go for the small-dick jokes? He didn’t have one. He wanted to scream it at the top of his lungs, but it would only make him look like he protested too much. No one would believe him, and he wasn’t about to start wagging it at strangers on the street to prove his point. It was above average. And an excellent performer, too, if his reviews could be trusted. He’d never heard any complaints.

 

Ivy, of course, didn’t count.

 

Author Biography

Andrea Laurence has been a lover of reading and writing stories since she learned to read at a young age. She always dreamed of seeing her work in print and is thrilled to finally be able to share her special blend of sensuality and dry, sarcastic humor with the world. A dedicated West Coast girl transplanted into the Deep South, she’s working on her own “happily ever after” with her boyfriend and their collection of animals including a Siberian Husky that sheds like nobody’s business.

Social Networking Links

Website: http://andrealaurence.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorAndreaLaurence

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Andrea_Laurence

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5398672.Andrea_Laurence

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