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Archive for September 9th, 2013

BALLERINAANDFIGHTER

I travel through life dancing.

All I ever wanted to do was dance, as did my best friend. We’d made so many plans together, but one night an explosion changed it all. Only one of us survived, and I promised myself I’d succeed for us both. And I did, until an accident almost ruined my career, but Maze came back into my life when I needed him most. He pulled me out of the depths of my despair. But could I save him now?

I travel through life fighting.

It had always been Ivy; from the first moment I saw her leaping through the air like she had wings to lift her from the ground. But she was my dream, something I wanted more than anything else in my life. I promised myself I would stay away from her. Violence followed me everywhere and I tried to keep her far away from it. She was my point of illumination in the dark tumultuous world I lived in. But I could not stay away from her. Not when I knew she needed me. As much as I needed her. But could she accept me as I am?

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I dropped both my girls off at college a couple of weeks ago. My oldest began her sophomore year of college my youngest her freshman year. It’s something we’ve all worked hard to make happen. Now they’re both happy and proud of their achievements, as am I. The first couple days they sent her pictures of their dorm rooms and we’ve texted and spoken almost every day. Thank God for technology. It’s the only way I’m coping.

My husband and I have raised our children to be strong and independent and taught and encouraged them to use the brains they were born with. And yes, while I am happy and pleased with their choices and accomplishments, it still doesn’t take away the fact that the doors to their rooms at home are open. They used to be closed because teenagers need privacy apparently above all else. Now I am able to go in at will, yet when I walk inside there’s no one there. Nor are they on their way home or will be home anytime soon. The sounds of silence and peace have invaded what once was a boisterous, noisy home. Yet for some reason I can’t hear myself think. I glance up ever so often for no reason. While I had no trouble blocking out noise, I find the silence deafening.

So I fill it with music and laughter and joy that I find within my mind and try to capture in my stories. I hope you enjoy them.

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