Dannie Marino is hiking with colleagues when a sudden blizzard separates her from her group. She’s rescued by Lee, a dangerously sexy stranger who leads her to a remote cabin to weather the storm.
When the night inevitably ends in an intense erotic encounter, Dannie is both shocked and liberated by her response. But being intimate means letting herself be vulnerable, which isn’t her style. Lee tries to reach out to her, but she avoids any emotional entanglement by pushing him away.
Snowed in and unable to hide from each other, Dannie and Lee must both face up to their most closely guarded emotions. When the storm abates, will they be able to stop running from the past and live fully in the future?
~~~*~~~*~~~
The mid-life crisis is no joke. It knocks you flat on your backside and makes you question who you truly are and what you really want.
I spent my twenties and early thirties trying to please everyone I knew. Then one day I woke up and could not do it anymore. I was done. Something needed to change or I was going to pull a Thelma and Louise and drive a Thunderbird convertible into the Grand Canyon.
Lots of my friends are going through a similar upheaval. Many are recovering from divorce or waking up from the zombie-like state of round-the-clock childcare, while others are simply realizing that their lives are not turning out the way they had planned and they’d better change things quick or they’ll end up shriveled and bitter with their whole lives behind them.
This, to me, is an interesting time of life to write about.
I like innocent virgins as much as the next guy, but as a writer, I’m drawn to stories that are relevant to my life now. I want realistic conflicts and strong characters. I want real women who are going through real things with real men. I want stories about characters that are like the women I know: strong, afraid, brave, smart, funny and ON FIRE.
So I write “older” heroines. I’m here today at Novel Thoughts to tell you why.
1. Older Heroines Have Real Problems.
I know some people read romance for the escape. I do too. But I also want to identify with the characters, to feel what they feel, to suffer and triumph along with them, and to see how they fight through what stands in their way. I can only do this when the characters and conflicts are realistic.
Older heroines have made mistakes. They’ve done some living and they’ve fallen on their faces a few times. They’re dealing with career trouble, failed relationships, fertility and parenting, infidelity, aging parents, illness, their own changing bodies, and their sexuality, all in the context of a ticking clock—in short, real stuff. Interesting stuff. Stuff I want to understand better.
2. Older Heroines Know Their Way Around a Bedroom.
They’ve had sex before, if you can believe it. And they might have even liked it. They might actually, literally, know their ass from their elbow. They don’t have to be reluctantly introduced to anything, or patiently taught, or seduced into sex. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING. Maybe, like most of our heroes, they haven’t had sex LIKE THIS—emotional, moving, connected sex. But they didn’t just fall off the virgin truck either. And frankly, that is refreshing. Because it’s 2012, and women should be allowed to have rich sexual lives that don’t require a more experienced hero to justify them.
3. Older Heroines Have History.
Often younger heroines are given a kind of false gravitas to make them seem more solid, like a miserable childhood or an unrealistically stellar track record in their professional lives. This rings untrue, and pulls us out of the story. But an older heroine has had time to develop a history—a childhood, an education, a good long stint at work, a few relationships—and these experiences make her a more developed character.
The older heroine’s history—especially if it contains true suffering and pain—also makes her ultimate romantic triumph much more moving. You know that she’s fought for it, that she’s earned it and deserves it, and that makes for a more satisfying story.
4. Older Heroines Have Real Friends.
By the time you hit your late thirties—hopefully—you’ve got friends. Not just school pals or drinking buddies, but the kinds of friends who have seen your placenta and held you while you sobbed your heart out. These friends make wonderful secondary characters in stories about older heroines. They too have had time to build a history, both as their own people and in terms of their relationship to the heroine.
5. Older Women Are Not Invisible.
You wouldn’t know this by looking at popular media. Oh, it’s changing somewhat. There are lots of actresses like Jennifer Aniston and Julia Roberts who are working steadily, playing vibrant roles, well into their forties. And there are more and more romance novels being written about older women, which is a wonderful thing.
But we all know, as women, that the older we get, the more we start to disappear. We’re not up there on the billboards anymore, because that’s a young woman’s game. There are fewer and fewer popular books, TV shows and movies about women our age. Men notice us less. Teenagers act like we don’t know what we’re talking about.
We don’t have any control over that. We live in a youth-obsessed culture, and more’s the pity. But what we don’t have to do is make each other and ourselves invisible.
Romance novels are written by women and for women. Most of us readers are in our thirties, forties and fifties. We exist. Yeah, we’ve screwed up a thing or two. Yeah, we’ve got some wrinkles to show for all the hard work we’ve done. But our stories are interesting. They matter. And I would rather read those stories, and write them.
My latest release is a contemporary romance novella called Snowbound with a Stranger, about a 38-year-old divorced nurse who is struggling with burnout. Dannie is a realistic woman. Her problems are real. And when she meets the hero, Lee, you know she’s earned the right to love and be loved by him.
Tell me what you think about older heroines in the comments below. A free copy of Snowbound with a Stranger goes to one random commenter, so join in the chat!
Rebecca Rogers Maher lives in Brooklyn, New York with her husband and children. She is the author of the Recovery Trilogy—I’ll Become the Sea, Snowbound with a Stranger and the forthcoming Fault Lines (September 2012)—from Carina Press.
http://www.RebeccaRogersMaher.com
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Snowbound with a Stranger is now available from Carina Press.
Thanks for this guestpost, and I so agree with you. I like reading about older heroines, but I also don’t want to read too much about real life drama. I know finding love when you are older is very real, and the journey can be a surprise.
I know lots of great women who have met their partners later in life. I love those stories. Often, like you say, it comes by surprise, and is all the more beautiful for that. Thanks for reading!
I agree with you whole heartily. An older woman is more apt to put up with less bull and more sure of themselves in knowing what they want. The road they already have travelled have made them into the women they are.
Absolutely. I love that confidence, or the process of finally finding and asserting confidence — those stories really inspire me. Thanks for stopping in!
I would love to read about older heroines for all the reasons you nicely stated. I can relate to them better considering I am one of them. LOL. I guess I have to look a little harder for them. I love the stories of second time around finding love. It gives me a bit of hope that love can strike twice.
I’m one of them too! That’s why I like to write and read these stories, because like you, I relate to them. Also, love does strike twice (or more) all the time, and those stories are so rich and wonderful. Thanks for reading!
I totally agree. Older heroines do have history and baggage that they have to live with. And having had those life lessons they appreciate the good things that cross their paths. Being the more mature reader it is sometimes hard to read a book with a fresh faced heroine plowing through life with blunders on… You just want to say *stop, that won’t work*. I would love to win a copy of your new book.
Right? That whole innocence thing feels really one-dimensional to me. I want women (of any age) with experience and some hard-earned wisdom.
I’ll definitely put you in the drawing for the book. So glad you came by today!
Great post, thank you. I’m in my earlier twenties but I still agree with what you said about older heroines. The too naive and virgin heroine is often too much, especially when the story is set in the 21st century. I love what Debbie Macomber writes, for example, and many of her heroines are not that young… some of them are actually pretty old!
I like the blurb of “Snowbound with a Stranger”, your book seems really interesting.
Thank you! Plenty of women in their early twenties are smart, savvy and experienced. I like reading about heroines like that too, even when they’re younger. I like to see age variety, though, and there’s more and more of that now, which is great. Thanks for reading!
I would love to read your new book. I am one of those older people who made it to about 33 years old still trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be or thought that I should be! I was in the process of divorcing my highschool sweetheart and beginning a life with my two young children….alone. May I say that the happiest years of my life followed this!! I blossomed!! Yes, I worked hard but I GREW in leaps and bounds while enjoying every minute I could with my two young children. We did all sorts of things together and had many experiences that would not have happened if I had stayed in that (bad) marriage. The three of us have wonderful memories of that time in our lives. Lesson: take care of #1 so that you can take care of everyone else… including a new lover!! Best wishes with the book and PLEASE enter me in the contest (paperback, I hope).
What a great story! I’m so happy for you, that you were brave enough to switch gears and make a new and more satisfying life for yourself and your children. Being willing to take care of yourself is what makes those kinds of bold moves possible, right?
The foundation of the Recovery Trilogy (of which Snowbound with a Stranger is part 2) is the idea that women can take radical action to change their lives and get better, and feel better. I see women doing this successfully all the time, and I’m always inspired by it. Like with you!
Will definitely enter you in the contest. Thanks for stopping by!
What is also awesome of being “older” is that we can start appreciating all our experience, baggage and mistakes rather than resenting them. Looking over all our challenges allows a character to take stock and make decisions of how to handle the next thing. The patterns become pretty clear and a new opportunity presents itself to do different things.
Thank you for a great essay. This should be sent to all the fiction publishing houses and movie studios.
That is a great point. Older women do tend to move more carefully, with more gratitude and acceptance. I like seeing the process of coming to that peace, you know what I mean? That’s a powerful process to witness. Thank you for coming by today!
Now that I am in my 40s I totally get older heroines. I used to try to please everyone but now I get that if I don’t please myself first ain’t nobody pleased! I still ball into the old patterns on occasion but now I have the maturity to point at the people that demanded it from me tell them not to do it again. That’s what I look for in an older heroine!
Yeah, pleasing everyone is for suckers! 🙂 Wish I could time-travel back to my younger self to tell her that. Fortunately, we have our 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond to kick some ass. Thanks for stopping by!
This sounds good great blog today thank you
Penney
Thank you, Penney! So glad you stopped in.
Enjoyed this wonderful post since a heroine with maturity, and life experience adds to the dimension of the story. They are more interesting as well as compassionate and can understand the difficulties that life throws at you yet deal with it. Many thanks.
Dimension is a great word. Yes! I like a heroine who can handle herself. Thank you for stopping in!
I love books where the hero in his older. I mean lets face it we older gals have lived.. We have experinces the young have yet to face and some I hope they never have to. I love your point #4.. We find out through the good times and bad times just who those long time friends are.. and they are the ones who know more about us that God…
Absolutely. Some of my favorite books have friendships that are in many ways their own love story. There’s nothing like a long-term, loving friendship bond between two women. When you have lived, and you’ve had a good, strong friend to live alongside you, that is a true gift. Thank you for coming by today!
The reason I’m not a fan of YA is because I can’t identify with the heroines. I like heroines to be in their late thirties to late forties for all of the reasons you listed. I like to see these women get everything that have been denied until now. Sometimes they find out things about themselves that they didn’t know existed.
I love that point about getting everything they’ve been denied. Yes! That is so gratifying and fun to read about. They’ve earned it! Thanks so much for reading!
I love books with older heroines, now that I’m past my thirties – I look back and nothing I planned really turned out the way it did and I’ve reached and passed the things have to change state. I also want heroines that have life experiences and know what life is really about and who maybe have experienced some of the same things I have. Thanks for the giveaway!
No, nothing really does turn out the way we planned, does it? 🙂 There is something really fortifying about seeing your experiences and struggles in a story, in seeing how a character works through it and comes out the other side. I want that too when reading. It’s so moving when it happens. Thank you for stopping by!
I love older heroines as well, probably because I teach college kids, and sometimes it’s really hard to put up with 19 year old hijinks in the classroom and then read about them in novels!
I also think older women are less likely to put up with crap or have the “big misunderstanding,” both of which are pet peeves of mine!
Gah – the big misunderstanding! If I wanted that, I’d watch old episodes of Three’s Company. (This immediately marks me as an older heroine myself, since I know that show. :))
You MUST need a break from 19-year-olds after being with them all day. Yeesh. Thank you for teaching! Not an easy job. And thanks so much for coming by today!
I love to read about older heroines but I have to admit I haven’t read that many books with older heroines in it. I think they are still pretty hard to find. But I can identify myself so much more with them! I agree with you on all your points and would so love to read more books with them in it.
You’re so right that they can be hard to find. Can anybody recommend a few? I feel like Lisa Kleypas’s contemporary heroines are older, and certainly experienced, strong women.
I identify with them a lot more, too, and I think many of us do. Thank you for reading and checking in!
Love doesn’t stop at a certain age. If it is a good love story, I enjoy the book
Right, that is so true. A good, strong love story works at any age. Thanks for coming by!
Right about the time I hit 40, I finally realized that it didn’t matter what other people thought of me, only what I thought of myself. I wish I’d figured that out sooner. I love older heroines in romances, I just wish there were more of them.
Jen, I’m only just coming to this realization myself, and you’re right, it’s hard not to regret all the years wasted worrying about other people’s opinions. Publishing books and then enduring everyone’s reactions has sure helped burned this out of me, I’ll tell you that! But it’s incredibly freeing to let go of those fears. I’m so happy for you that you’ve done so.
Thank you for coming by today! (There will be more older heroines. Things are changing.)
The older I get, the more I appreciate older heroines 🙂 Thanks for another one to add to my TBR!
Me too! Thank you so much for reading!
And the winner of the book giveaway is …. okay, hang on — using very scientific methods here to determine the winner (picking a name out of a hat) and okay, here we go …. unwrapping, and it’s …. bettysunflower!
Congrats, Betty! Send your contact information to rebeccarogersmaher@gmail.com and I’ll send you a free copy of Snowbound with a Stranger.
Thank you so much to everyone for participating in this great discussion. I was really impressed by how rich and interesting your responses were. So inspiring!
Keep ’em coming! Best wishes to all of you and thank you for reading.
Congrats Betty! And while I know that I am late…I have to totally agree with you on this.
Hi Lori! Thanks for reading and for stopping by to say hello.
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